Forgiveness

Psalm 32: 3-5

Ephesians 4:32 to 5: 2

Mark 11: 22-26

Forgiveness

Rabbi David A. Nelson likes to tell the story of two brothers who went to their rabbi to settle a longstanding feud. The rabbi got the two to reconcile their differences and shake hands. As they were about to leave, he asked each one to make a wish for the other in honor of the Jewish New Year. The first brother turned to the other and said, "I wish for you what you wish for me." At that, the second brother threw up his hands and said, "See, Rabbi, he's starting up again!"

Forgiveness is hard. The old eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth thing is such a part of us from early on, and we see examples of it almost from the day we are born. There are not many models around us to show us what forgiveness really is, and why Christ taught us to pray, “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.” In fact, many prefer to change the word from sin to trespass or debt because those are easier for us to think we might forgive. But a sin, well, that means a real hurt, a full separation, a split with anger and bitterness and desire to retaliate. The end of relationship.

So what is real forgiveness? What does Christ mean by forgiveness? And for whose benefit is forgiveness given? Most people think forgiveness is for the sake of the person being forgiven. That is the biggest reason why forgiveness is withheld so often. Remember the words Jesus taught, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”

Forgiveness is for the sake of the one who is forgiving. Unless we forgive, we are the one who suffers most. When Jesus on the cross asked for our forgiveness, it was for God’s sake, because God wants each and every one of us in his presence forever. Unless Jesus the Son forgave those who put him on the cross, God the Father would be denied any chance of the joy of receiving them into his presence. Whether being forgiven benefited those who put Jesus on the cross was left up to them, and their free will choice of how to respond. What we must remember from Jesus is, unless we forgive, we ourselves cannot be forgiven.

So what kind of response might give them benefit? It is called repentance. That is a word we hear from scripture often. The prophets called upon the people of Israel to repent. John the Baptist called for people to repent. It means to look yourself in the mirror and admit you have done wrong, you have hurt someone, you have abused, cheated, denied, lied, broken a promise, damaged a relationship. Repentance is accepting responsibility for our actions, accepting the consequences, making the admission to the person or persons we have hurt.

By forgiving someone, the burden is placed back upon their shoulders, and we are freed from our share. We are no longer slaves to the sin that was committed. When we fail to forgive we continue to be burdened by the hurt, we are not free to move on and be healed, and too often what happens is the hurt festers, bitterness takes over, we relive the situation over and over, and we suffer. We may suffer long after the person who hurt us has forgotten, Or, we may try to make sure that person never forgets, seek retaliation, and vengeance, and so inflict pain upon them, keeping the wound open over and over. As the brother said to the rabbi, it starts all over again. Such is the way for violence between individuals, and wars between nations.

Jesus told us to forgive and love our enemies. Why? Sure goes against our human nature. Why would he say something like that? Because it drives them nuts. Especially if you forgive in the name of Jesus. They have no way to retaliate that will give them true satisfaction and peace. Unless they repent. Forgiveness shuts down what might seem to be all other options for peace—only repentance can bring peace. Forgiveness and repentance together bring change.

Forgiving does not mean we accept what was done to us. It does not say, “It’s okay”. It does not relieve the person from the consequences of their actions, as long as those consequences are not from our seeking retaliation or revenge. Forgiveness is not condoning or accepting. Nor is it possible for us as humans to forget. Forgiving allows the wound a chance to heal over but the scars will remain.

So what does repentance do for the one forgiven or seeking forgiveness? It means responsibility has been accepted, consequences are accepted, there will be no further attempt to continue the behavior, no desire to try to hurt again. That opens a door to start over, and it opens a chance for reconciliation. Reconciliation is the effort to restore the broken relationship. Reconciliation is a new beginning. For us humans, that restoration, if it happens, will never be same as it was before. Sometimes there is deeper understanding, and sometimes a better relationship. But sometimes, as humans, reconciliation just isn’t possible. The relationship will stay broken. Nor should every human relationship be restored, for the sake of both parties. On earth, among us humans, not everyone gets a second chance. But if there is a chance for any lasting good to come out of a bad situation, forgiveness, repentance, and reconciliation is the path. Jesus made that clear.

We come to the table for Holy Communion this morning to remember a flesh and blood fellow human who worked hard to bring a message of love to the world. After three years and many brilliant moments, he was misunderstood by his followers. He was rejected by the crowds who just a few days before had welcomed him into their midst shouting Hosanna, Hail, and waving banners. He was betrayed by one of his closest friends to whom he had opened himself completely. His life’s mission seemed destroyed.

Then he was wrongly accused, wrongly arrested, wrongly tried, wrongly sentenced, wrongly and savagely beaten, and wrongly and horribly hung on a cross. He felt all the pain you and I could possibly feel. Not just the physical pain, but the pain of defeat, loss, humiliation, despair, and the pain of fear. Close your eyes and imagine this to be you. See yourself in him. See yourself that night in the upper room, out in the garden, then standing humiliated and beaten in front of everyone. See yourself being led to the cross. Feel it. Be honest with yourself. If you had the power, what would you want to do?

Jesus had the power for vengeance, the power to destroy all who had wronged him and brought the pain.

Instead, he chose to accept the cross, and while hanging there he said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Jesus, the flesh and blood Son of God, forgave us for the sake of God the Father, so that God could have the joy of our presence with him forever. He gave us a second chance. A gift we do not deserve. A gift poured out to us. A gift held out to us.

When you come down the aisle to take this simple piece of bread and dip it in the cup, what is your choice? Will you forgive the sins that have been committed against you? Will you repent of your sins against others and God? If so, what do you choose to do with God’s forgiveness?

If we forgive, and then if we come to the table and repent, unlike our human nature God not only opens the door wide for reconciliation, he restores his relationship with us without blemish. He will forget. The past is gone, we have a true beginning.

God forgives. God calls. What is your choice?